Why is it that in spite of being told “use a potholder when cooking over a stove” or “don’t let a rope slide through the hand,” we still get burned. What about racing on coasters that turn our knuckled grip to white? When we hold on so tightly the pain actually numbs and melts into our body, we forget what it’s like NOT to hold on to the pain.

So often, we resist releasing what’s most hurtful, because pain also sends a sense a false security. And the last thing we want is to loose our personal identity especially if it connects, nourishes and inspires.

1) Look in the mirror and remind yourself “it’s gonna be okay. It’s the right thing to do.”

2) Stretch your muscles by opening up.

3) Set a firm limit for time and attention you’ll tolerate before letting go.

4) Articulate the pain – a conversation with a friend, write in your journal, bleed out a poem, a novel or a grocery list, make it tangible so you can let it go.

5) Finally, focus your attention to the feeling you most desire to release the pain… what you focus on grows.