011 Releasing the Fire of Desire
By
As 2012 closes and life transforms into a new year many of us have begun defining some resolutions. You know the ones – hit the gym twice a week, lose 30 pounds, save more, spend less, recycle. Goal planning and intention setting is usually focused on a tangible outcome, a result. What if we have this all wrong?
The hardest question I have EVER been asked is What do you want? It’s taken me several years to come to terms with it actually. It’s always been a heck of a lot easier to pin point what I don’t want…debt, abusive relationships, stress, excess weight (both physical and mental). But to identify what I really want keeps coming back to one word…happiness. And where, how, when is happiness found? This is where the real work comes in.
Danielle LaPorte recently published The Desire Map which takes a good hard look at what she calls “the most creative force in the universe” desire. Desire pulls at us, taunts us, calls for us to reach for it. When desire is healthy and is not rooted in obsession, it creates powerful feelings without specific attachments. For example, when we seek more clarity in our lives it can manifest in more than just one goal. It could result in a change in career, more communication in relationships and stronger self esteem. When we desire a feeling of affluence we may find it by raising relief for those devastated by hurricane Sandy or running into a neighbor at Starbucks and treating him to a cup of coffee.
“What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi
There’s a fire inside each of us. It feeds our desires and needs tending to keep it ablaze. We can toss in random debris and it will surely continue to sporadically burn, but it may also spit out sparks of incompatibility and neglect. When we energize and nourish it with the kindling of inspiration, trustworthy relationships and healthy, long-burning experiences we create an opening, a release of unexpected results. When we seek the feeling rather than the attachment it’s much easier to say yes to what evokes the desired feeling and let go of what does not.
The Ease of Release & Letting Go 
I, too, am currently deciding what I want, which is the question I’ve finally dropped back to after struggling for several years with “What do I want to do with my life?” I spent most of my adult life in the world of dance, with no real “goal” in mind other than to be involved in dance 24/7. I was lucky enough to make my living at it for many years—performing, choreographing, teaching, writing about dance—and then I had my “second career” with my clothing design business. Both of these were passionate pursuits, and I was glad to be able to get up in the mornings and do what I loved. In recent years, I’ve felt myself being pulled in a different direction, one which has yet to reveal itself in any specific way, although there have been hints in the form of cryptic messages received in meditation. I’ve also found myself living through experiences and meeting people who have shifted my perspective profoundly and are clearly adding to the mental, emotional, and spiritual “tools” that will be required of me down the road, but I still have no clear path. So I’m working on returning to the way I used to live my life…not worrying about goals or direction or “what’s next” and instead daydreaming/visualizing the kind of life I’d like to live and the things I’d like to do and staying open to what comes my way. Easier said than done, given that money is very much an issue at the moment. 🙂
Viki, it’s so wonderful to hear your story. Based on my experiences over that last couple years myself, the best filter I have found is happiness. When we make choices that bring happiness, then logically we are fulfilled. The challenge then is to define our happiness. It’s not wrapped up in people, objects or experiences. It’s the emotion we carry within us when we feel our inner most core desires. So start with asking yourself how you want to feel…not what you want in your life. Your feelings may lead you in completely unexpected directions. Thanks again for sharing with us 🙂
I’ve been working with feelings…I even made a list of them! Mostly, I just need to remind myself that it will all work out—as it always has in the past. And I don’t doubt that it will be in unexpected ways. 🙂
Emotions are like our truths…we carry them with us everywhere and do our best to guard them, protect them from those less worthy. Sometimes they sit right at the surface, vulnerable and exposed. Other times they explode from our every pore like a ravenous hurricane.