018 Five Stages of Release (Part 1)By
Release is an emotion.
Connected to the positive feelings of love, freedom and open-mindedness, a release can empower our strength, lighten our path and inspire our thinking. Release, or letting go, also sits at the brink of fear, edge of isolation and cusp of abandonment. And like all emotions we experience all phases of processing it.
The first stage, denial, is when we attempt to convince ourselves, and others, we can hold onto it. In spite of our knuckles whitening, jaw clenching and heart racing we believe the attachments we carry are manageable tasks, meaningful possessions, or relationships in reciprocity. We don masks and blinders from seeing the inner truth.
The other way we place ourselves in denial is when time and circumstances rule the release. Parents can easily identify with this. It’s that first day a child enters preschool and mom or dad releases their toddler’s hand so they may join new hands. It’s the first time a young man knocks at the door to take your daughter on a date. It’s that day when your son, married with kids of his own, decides to move his family out of state. We can’t stop these life transformations from happening, but we often try to deny them for as long as possible. Trying to focus on present situations, as dysfunctional as they may be, gives us predictability and comfort. Change is scary and can cause feelings of insecurity, abandonment, and life moving past at lightening speed. But when we focus in on creative transformations, a vivid new adventure awaits.
How do you move past denial into acceptance?
Because, there is no standing still.
To continue on to the next stage of letting go click here.
[…] In the first stage of a release, we confront denial. We come face to face with our ego and its protective armor that wants to believe everything is okay as is. Ego is resistant to change. He ignores what may weigh too heavily or bind too tightly because it means making changes to the status quo. Our ego would rather grasp onto the past for validation or reach to future expectations rather than focus on present change. But once we do focus our attention on the present, we can no longer be in a state of denial. We accept that when we give away more than we receive or become more drained than fulfilled, the only way out, only path lighter and freer is to accept change […]
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