“Cruelty is never brave – it’s mostly cheap and easy.” – Brene Brown

In Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection, she reveals the reactivity and ease of cruelty which often becomes our default setting when we have been hurt by another. When the words or actions of a family member, friend, colleague or even stranger strike with their self imposed truths or ubiquitous white lies we are left with a choice. We can harbor resentment through silence. We can retaliate with equally unkind actions and words. We can hide our pain behind the busyness of our lives.

There is another choice. We can forgive ourselves.

You see every act, behavior and relationship is a reflection of our selves…a calling to look deep at that sameness within us. When another’s words or actions burn our pride or sabotage our emotions it’s time to honor those moments and find the enrichment, the lesson within them. Letting go of the need to reciprocate cruelty with cruelty is our most courageous act. When we are hurt, be hurt. Honor the pain. When we ignore these acid strikes to our heart, stabbing blades to our pride and numbness to our ego darkness will only curdle and mutate inside us. Honor both the angry and sorrowful emotions for they are the fuel that brings us back to our happiness. Scream from the top of rooftops. Throw fistful globs of paint on a canvas. Cry big wet sobbing tears. Tell your best friend the story of your pain over tea. Then do what the bravest warriors do…let it go, release the bonds, bid adieu.

Make courage your default setting for letting go.